Pics at the mall...

These are kinda hard to see, but we had fun Saturday at the photoshoot at Kiddie Kandids...

A little ironic (warning...I am bummed...)

The funeral home called on Thursday to let us know that Breanna's death certificate was ready. Kind of ironic...Thursday was Breanna's 14th birthday. Birth and death.
It was a little surreal sitting there proofreading that darn piece of paper, the official cause of death, etc. It was hard not to break down, hard to just say thank-you, stand up and leave.
I stopped at the cemetery on the way home. Breanna's grave marker was already muddy, so I tried to dust it off as best as I could. I poked a Winnie-the-Pooh pinwheel into the dirt and choked down another sob.
Happy Birthday, BreBre.

Happy Easter!

Jesse

Kory

Estuardo

Marisol

Onnolee

Made me smile

Leave it to the Bubs...'Stuard the Fashion Plate...Notice the required shoulder drape...I dug these classics out of the archives. I needed to lighten the mood...

One foot in front of the other...

I haven't felt much like blogging for the past few weeks but I figured I'd better check in...
Breanna's funeral was perfect, as far as funerals go. She looked like a little angel. They fixed her hair up pretty and even painted her fingernails, and she was dressed in a pretty white dress that her sister Serena brought from Salt Lake. Many of our friends were able to come, including people from church, work and the kids' school, people who knew Breanna and people who came to help hold us up.
Serena and granddaughter Ava came down from Utah to spend several days with us.
Breanna lies in a section of the cemetery named the "Garden of Angels" where she is surrounded by other babies and children. I found this very comforting; it sounded like the perfect place for her to be.
I think I am doing okay, as well as can be expected. Life goes on, the babies keep us laughing, and the house keeps us busy cleaning and remodeling, but in the quiet moments I think of her, and I miss her laughter.

To lose a child...

We adopted Breanna Arielle almost ten years ago, a tiny 4-year-old girl with big blue eyes and a smile that would melt your heart. Breanna was born 12 weeks too soon and had severe cerebral palsy as well as epilepsy but had such a sweet spirit and a belly laugh that was contagious. Three years ago, Breanna had a reaction to a medication she was on that caused her to have a 109 degree fever and we almost lost her. That fever destroyed most of her brain cells and left her bedbound and unable to eat or play or crawl, three of the things she loved most. And she was unable to tolerate sitting in a wheelchair for more than a few minutes without being in severe pain, so she was unable to attend church. I think that hurt her the most, as she just loved being there listening to the music and feeling the spirit.
Breanna almost died 3 years ago but for some reason decided to hang around a little longer. My husband said that she wasn't finished doing the job she was sent here to do.
So many changes have happened in those 3 years in our family, and through it all, Breanna has lain in her bed just happy to be here with us, and was still able to laugh at whatever struck her funny---all the burps and sneezes and whenever I dropped something and said "Oh shoot" ...that contagious belly laugh would echo through the house.
Breanna went to be with Heavenly Father tonight. I hope she is running through the fields of heaven. I know she is laughing. We will miss you BreBre.

Happy 1st Birthday, Onnolee Kaya Briseyda Puderbaugh!!!

Mmmm...

Believe it or not, this is Estuardo's first ice cream cone!...

As he would say..."NUM!!!"

No laptop :o(

My laptop has caught some bugs and is in the shop for a tune-up, so that's where I've been the past couple of weeks... Hopefully it will be home soon and I will be able to post some new pics.
We have been receiving glowing reports from Kory and Marisol's teachers. They have acclimated well to being in school and are doing great. After only 2 months, Marisol is already typing out second grade level spelling words on her braille typewriter! Jesse is also enjoying being in high school.
Estuardo and Onnolee are best buddies. He just adores her and they wake up in the morning with big smiles for each other. That is so neat to see!
We have begun redecorating/remodeling the house, which is our project for this year. Stew has built bunkbeds for the older boys and a toddler bed for Estuardo (not that he sleeps in it yet). He is planning to build a bed for Marisol next. Then I will begin decorating and fixing up their rooms finally.
I finished up 10 grueling weeks of College Algebra at University of Phoenix online, and I am back in regular nursing classes. I hope to finish my Bachelor's Degree this year and depending on how burned out I am, start working on my Master's Degree.
So that's our update!
Congratulations to all of my online friends who have brought their babies home this past 2 months, that is so awesome to see! And prayers to those who are still waiting, for a speedy process and that your babies will be home soon too!

Cloth and wool...

We visited our friends at the local diaper shop on Thursday and both Estuardo and Onnolee got new "woolies", wool diaper covers. It hasn't been much harder cloth diapering two as opposed to one, we run a load of diapers about every 2 days now instead of every 3. We used disposable diapers while we were in Guatemala and I just couldn't hardly wait to get home to our cloth and wool. The disposables just seem so...paper...

And the mystery guest is...
Estuardo in his new Lana night soaker!
Onnolee in her "rainbow short" prefold diaper from Green Mountain Diaper Company.
And her new Aristocrat wooly!

Babywatching

My husband laughs at me because I am so enthralled watching the babies grow and learn to do things. Estuardo got a bunch of Fisher Price Little People toys for Christmas and it just amazes me how he automatically knows how to drive his cars in the garage and put the horses in the barn...he's only 21 months old! I am so happy that he is enjoying his toys!

Okay, Mama, go away!!
And then of course there's little Miss Smiley!!!
CHEESE!!!

Settling in

Well, after 2 weeks of no sleep for Mom or Dad, Onnolee is finally starting to -mostly- sleep through the night instead of crying every half hour. She only wakes up twice or so to suck bottle and goes right back to sleep. She is finally starting to drink 4 or 5 ounces out of her bottle all at once, instead of 1/2 ounce spurts here and there. After 2 weeks of refusing to eat anything except torn up pieces of bread, she ate chicken, carrots, cereal and a whole container of mango dessert tonight along with her bread and cereal puffs.
After 2 nights of fairly decent sleep, I almost feel normal...

Feeling a little better!!!

Oops, where's Estuardo?

Ahh, there he is! Having a little snack...
Momentarily getting along fine!
Awww~~~little princess!

"ROCK" a BYE baby!!!

Ha, should I give it a name?? 6 days of hard labor...whew!!

FINALLY SOME PICS!!!

What next?

We've been facing one disaster after another for the past 2 weeks. We missed our connecting flight in Houston after arriving 45 minutes late and then taking over an hour to get through customs. There were no flights until the next morning so they set up a "discount" room for us. The shuttle that was supposed to take us there left us standing at the curb and drove off without us, leaving us to wait over an hour for the next shuttle. Our flight the next day was uneventful but Houston decided to keep one of our suitcases, the one with the babies' coats in it. The temperature in Salt Lake was 0 degrees. We had set aside one day to visit with our family in Salt Lake but instead spent it in Houston, so we barely had time to have dinner with our relatives so they could meet Onnolee. No major events on the drive home, thank goodness, but the two babies ended up with bad respiratory infections, and Estuardo had to go to the ER with his high fever and ended up with a major ear infection on top of the respiratory infection---he was very sick! And we no sooner got home than my body decided it was time for another kidney stone. Which decided it was going to stay stuck since Thursday and it still hasn't passed. So here I am trying to be happy and enjoy these two babies...on Percocet. All 3 of us are feeling a little better today finally. I took a few pics, hopefully will post them shortly.

OH MY HECK...

Wow, what a disaster it almost was...
We made it to our appointment at the Embassy on Friday and we thought we were all prepared...First disaster was that I had accidentally left my PIN number at home so I had no access to cash through the ATM. We knew we were okay because the Embassy takes visa...well, of course their credit card machine was not working. Cash only. First panic of the morning. Our facilitator reassured us that we could pay on Monday as long as it was at least an hour before visa pick-up. I thankfully remembered that my PIN number was on the dashboard of my van which was parked at my daughter's house, so I was able to get that later in the day. So after about 2 hours of LOOONNNNG waiting time in a crowded room with two babes, we finally got called. We presented all our paperwork--- our 3 years taxes and my most recent pay stub. "Where is your W-2?" (oops) No W-2, no visa. Yikes. Okay so again, we needed to get it by Monday. So as soon as we got back I started communicating with my employer trying to get them to fax me a copy. No way, they say. It's confidential, they are not allowed. I started emailing my boss. The best option we were able to get them to agree to at first was to snail-mail me a copy...to GUATEMALA!!!!! It would have taken WEEKS!!! There I was, sitting in the Baby Lounge at the Marriot, crying my eyes out, wondering what the heck I was going to do. Finally, after 2 hours (literally) of emails, my boss convinced the super-high-ups to email me a copy. Tears of relief!!!
And just as a little icing on the cake...later that day when Stew and I were sitting in the Baby Lounge reflecting on the state of affairs, all of a sudden the whole room SHOOK!!!!! Down here they refer to it as "the shakes"...just a little 5.6 Richter EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my heck...what a day...
Sorry no pics...we both forgot our lappies and this computer does not take sd cards, so pics when we get home.
Oh, yesterday we took a tour of Antigua with Highland Tours, Juan Carlos. It was awesome and highly recommended!
Onnolee has the throw-up-icky-diaper crud. Once we get rid of that, everything should be great. She is just beautiful, and wants to be held all the time right now.

We are here!

Onnolee is just gorgeous! We had a tearful goodbye meeting with her fostermom last night, as well as our attorney and our facilitator. Our embassy appointment this morning was unfortunately not problem free, and we have a few hoops to jump by Monday so we are a little stressed and a lot tired. No pics to post yet. Hopefully in the next day or two when things settle down a little. Estuardo is handling things well although he has been very clingy. More later...